Rafael Behr on home extensions...enjoy

 Rafael Behr in The Observer 21st April.  Smile but so true...

Extending your home

The government is proposing to relax regulations to make it easier for people to extend their houses without planning permission.

This idea is doomed because it ignores a fundamental law of middle-class existence: the sum of ambition for home improvement must equal the aggregate outrage of neighbours at what is proposed to satisfy that ambition. This is called the Party Wall Equilibrium.

It is a common misconception to think that the purpose of home extensions is to give people more space to live. Anyone who can afford a conservatory has enough rooms.

There are two purposes to property developments. The first is to connect British people to their history by creating a market for mock-Victorian taps and pseudo-rustic door latches.

The second is to give dinner party guests something to talk about once they have exhausted the topic of school places.

The minister responsible for the current planning debacle is Nick Boles. By coincidence, a bole is the unit for measuring small volumes of spittle flecked on the chin of irate Telegraph readers.